Dark Lord of the Twitter

When you have an entire galaxy to torment, there’s just no time for full-on blogging. So whenever Darth Vader has a spare moment, he gets online and updates his Imperial minions one sentence at a time on the addictive social networking site Twitter.com.

Read mini-entries from Vader as he chats about the latest upgrades to his suit, gripes about day-to-day workplace incompetence and laments over the Rebel scum that keep getting in his way.

Here’s a few of Vader’s more memorable Twitter ramblings:

Just discovered a side benefit to having robotic arms and hands. No need for pot holders when cooking my legendary BBQ Bantha burgers. about 3 hours ago from twitterrific

My iPhone chest unit upgrade is complete. Activation is delayed indefinitely however. Something tells me this isn’t going to be a good thing 10:58 PM June 29, 2007 from twitterrific

One of the new officers has a beard and mustache. Hum, he seems familiar but I just can’t place him. Probably nothing… 09:36 AM June 21, 2007 from twitterrific

Just upgraded my legs with a sweet new dancing program. Have plans to break into “So you think you can dance?” and show these losers up. 09:38 AM May 30, 2007 from twitterrific

Spent the last hour torturing Solo in order to draw my son to Bespin. Awesome when you don’t have to ask questions, takes the pressure off. 09:59 AM May 29, 2007 from twitterrific

By the way, for the record I did bring balance to the Force. After the Muppet died, Jedi = 2 (my kids) and Sith = 2 (me and Empire). 02:48 PM May 25, 2007 from twitterrific

Watch for the Palpatine Roast tonight on Comedy Central. Admiral Thrawn made him laugh so hard lightening came out his nose & ears. Classic! 05:22 PM May 15, 2007 from twitterrific

You’d think our Imperial spy network would have caught the construction of a six story ion cannon on Hoth. Why do I pay these people again? 10:31 AM May 11, 2007 from twitterrific

Found my Padawan hair braid the other day in an old drawer. Guess I’ll use it as a cat toy… an evil cat toy! 10:44 AM May 01, 2007 from twitterrific

Note to self: Get with engineers about lowering Imperial shuttle ramps a good 10 cm. The troops see the helmet dents, and it’s just NOT funny 09:26 AM April 23, 2007 from twitterrific

I would have taken this weekend off, but I banned them from the Empire after the massive Bothan Barbecue uprising of 3456. 12:42 PM April 14, 2007 from web

One of those stupid little floor polishing droids almost just tripped me. The Death Star R&D department will pay dearly for this… 02:32 PM April 12, 2007 from twitterrific

To read all the entries and keep up with the latest Sith-related gripes and gossip, check out Darth Vader’s Twitter Profile.